ONE TURN

I woke up, threw my blanket away, searched my phone everywhere as it's very first priority of every morning but couldn't find it. Everything was a bit blur so I grabbed my glasses from side table and went on search once again but was not able to find it. I looked at wall clock and it was 1 pm and I was wondering how is it even possible? like how they allowed me to sleep for so long! As I stepped out from my room I heard someone crying from downstairs. I rushed down and my mother was crying there laying restless on floor, my sister was holding her and trying to console her and my all cousins were there and sobbing, I was extremely shocked, I asked "what happened here?", "Did someone died?" but didn't get any response. I was standing there with no clue and trying to figure out that what is happening over here. Then, when no one paid attention to me I moved out to the other room opening to garden and out. There I saw my father and uncle sobbing at corner and total in shock as I moved towards them I saw a dead body laying there. I felt like there is no strength in my legs or my back to hold me up and I smashed to floor. It was me laying there in room, it was me for whom everyone was crying. I tried to cry loud and shout but my voice box was not able to produce any sound. Now I know why everyone was ignoring me as I was not even there. My soul left my body hours ago. It was my dead body laying there. I rushed to my father and was trying to know what happened, how I died, but everything was going in vain. I couldn't see my father in such state, I tried to pull myself up and stand up but was not able to feel anything down there. I dragged myself to mother and she was just crying and blaming herself. Numerous of things were going in my head, that last night everything was fine, yes I was depressed because of my job. I had resigned my job because of many reasons and currently was finding other work to do. But I couldn't get how that lead to my death.

My neighbours, colleagues, everyone was there but my eyes was finding my friends. I wanted to hug them and cry out loud as I always prefer to do whenever I feel miserable. I could hear people talking that we should take the body now and cremate it, its a young death we should not delay and asking each other to ask my father whether to take the corpse or not. But no one was able to collect that courage to ask a father about his son in such situation. I was crying there and my family too but I was not physically there, I was craving for them and they were crying to have me back. My college friends entered the gate and I burst out and couldn't control myself. Some of them tried to manage themselves and came to family to hold them up in this hardship and some couldn't control and cried out there only. I was able to see the pain and sorrow in each eye there. After an hour and half of crying, I accepted my fate and reality that yes I am no more here. I wiped tears and stood up, walked and sat near my father, folded my legs and squeezed myself to least and was sobbing. After some time my paternal uncle asked my father that can we now proceed to further rituals as it's essential for him only. But my father reply was something unexpected, he said "No one is allowed to touch his body until Samarth(my best friend and more than that) is here, he is in way will be here in less than half hour." and all agreed without any doubt. I screwed my head in between my legs and started crying again thinking he is late here too. Soon Samarth was there, his eyes were red already, tears were rolling down his cheeks continuously and holding everyone else as well. Then eventually after some time all agreed to pick my body up. I was walking with them to crematorium and was thinking about my achievements, my failure, my struggles, what I earned in my life, what I lost in my life and what were the things which remained undone, the complete flashback was in front of me. I enjoyed my life to fullest until college, then things started getting unbalanced. I thought if I opted the other ways whenever I had options there is probability that my life would have ended differently. I guess I didn't gave that happiness to my family as they deserved and what will they do after me. No doubt my father is a warrior and he proved himself at every turn of life but loss of son can shatter any warrior. I didn't left a good bank balance that they can spend rest of their life just by sitting on couch. I started thinking that what if I had one more day, what will be things that I would prefer to do- I will tell everyone their role in my life and how they mattered to me. I will make my parents feel proud on their upbringing, will say sorry to some friends with whom I lost contact just on the matter of small ego satisfaction. Will tell relatives that yes they mattered always. I would tell my sister to remain strong as the toughest part of her life is just to come. But practically I was not having even a second with me. We gradually reached there and they created a pyre and asked father to fire it. He fall down on knees and started screaming.

"wake up".

"wake up".

"wake up we need to run together".

I feel shattered and closed my eyes. As I opened them back I found myself laying on my bed and he was standing there saying "wake up, we agreed that we will go for jogging it will help you to manage stress and fitness. come on."

I jumped out of bed and grab him in my arms. This morning was different for me. Every single strike of air was inspiring me to live more.

"LIFE IS LIKE A RIVER,

     ENJOY EVERY TURN BECAUSE

THESE TURNS WILL NEVER COME BACK".

:- KESHAV BHARDWAJ